East Coast Earthquake Explained

"The USGS says yesterdays East Coast earthquake was caused by an unknown fault line running under D.C. and through Virginia. It is now being called Obama's Fault, though Obama will say it's really Bush's Fault. Another theory is that it was the founding fathers rolling over in their graves, but I believe what we all thought was an earthquake was actually the effects of a $14.6 trillion dollar check bouncing in Washington."